An “Exellent” Journey
He had me at “hello.” Exellent (no this is not a misspelling, there is no “c” in his name) was a charming 16.3 hand, dark bay warmblood with a perfectly centered star between his eyes and snip on his nose. He was 6 and a dressage “flunky.” That job was just not in his nature and, often when under saddle, he would stick his tongue out the side of his mouth. This was not at all acceptable in the dressage ring! It was really no matter though. I was looking for a green hunter who would never have to perform a Piaffe. Exellent was perfectly suited in manner and “look” to the hunter role, not to mention smart and curious. He took to jumping like he had done it his whole life and really enjoyed it. Before coming to me, Exellent had recovered from laminitis.
Definitely a red flag but I along with the vet observed what was a full recovery with no rotation. A good sign – he remained perfectly sound and passed a vet check, so I eventually purchased him.
Even though Exellent was advancing in training, there still was something just not right about him. He had gut issues but again, what stall bound horse doesn’t! It was pretty dramatic though with spewing diarrhea for months. He had some hind end stiffness…again, what jumping horse doesn’t have some. Occasionally he traveled with his head slightly cocked and, of course, the aforementioned tongue sticking out. As the vets systematically tried to drill down to the root cause of this “just not rightness,” I sought the help of some integrative practitioners. I had great success in my own health journey with evidence-based integrative healthcare, so I thought why not try it with the horse. It started with a nutritional overhaul, as well as a myriad of blood and saliva allergy tests to find out if he had any major sensitivities….he did. As we implemented major changes to his diet he showed great progress, especially in healing his gut. Traditional medications like Omeprazole and Ranitidine were helpful for a while but ultimately didn’t seem to heal the problem. It ended up being a whole food diet, quality nutraceuticals and probiotics along with healing time that stopped the diarrhea and reoccurring colic episodes.
We also had some amazing body workers come into our “circle” to help. Craniosacral therapists, an osteopath, massage therapist, acupuncturist and even an animal communicator… oh, come on, haven’t we all hung on their every word? I held the lead rope through all these sessions and was amazed to see his body respond. There were times when I could almost feel it myself. Some of the bodyworkers gave me little stretches and points to work on between sessions, so I actually started to work on his body. It was interesting to see him respond to me too. One day, one of the bodyworkers said, “you know, you could do this?” So down the Google trail I went exploring bodywork programs, settling on one that had come highly recommended called Equinology. My journey on this fascinating road had started, however, Exellent’s journey, unbeknownst to me at the time, was drawing toward its close.
Even with all the wonderful bodywork and the vets doing all sorts of tests, Exellent was not thriving. His body still showed pain, he didn’t want to go forward. When under saddle, he acted like he had to defecate even if he just had gone. He would bolt erratically. So, we sent him for in depth tests at a nearby clinic, which included a myelogram (a test where the horse is put under anesthesia and injected with contrast die for in depth imaging). Anyone who had walked down this road knows that these are expensive and more invasive tests, but they reveal much. In Exellent’s case they revealed a compression in his cervical spine and other cervical issues. As I have now learned, this type of compression not only affects the neck it impacts the whole spine and nerve function from head to tail. It explained everything and just how much pain he was actually enduring. I immediately retired him from jumping and not to long after his diagnosis, a blood test showed some kidney dysfunction. On top of his structural struggles, he also ended up with chronic kidney disease! The cause was unknown, but numerous vets agreed that it was probably from the years of pain medication he was given when he had laminitis and colic.
Going through this process with Exellent chipped away at my heart until it broke. Yet, through this heartbreak, I started my Equine bodywork program and also continued to learn about equine wellness. Exellent’s poor broken body led me on a journey to incredible people, resources and information. He became my guide and taught me to pay attention and listen, really, really listen.
After his diagnosis, our pace together slowed. We weren’t in the jumping ring anymore, and although it was something we both loved, a far richer routine emerged. We did lots of groundwork which he, with his sharp mind, picked up quickly. We bonded over long walks on the trail both in hand and under saddle. It was a deeper bond that we never would have cultivated in the show ring. Even when his local pasture was torn down and I had to move him to a pasture four hours away. I was still able to make the trek to see him every two to three weeks. We had precious time together. When I wasn’t there, he was well cared for and watched over by some wonderful people. He had what every horse wants a peaceful green pasture and a sweet pasture companion.
Exellent served as one of the “case studies” for my bodywork certification. He was the horse I used for my final video routine test showing various massage moves. He got me through my certification with great patience. Not too long after I got certified, his kidney disease advanced and his health took a turn for the worse. I dreaded what might be ahead for us and what life or end of life decisions I would have to make.
Then one morning, a few days before I was planning a trip up to see him, I got a call that Exellent had died sometime during the night or early morning in his pasture. He was peacefully grazing when they had checked on him in the evening before. I just knew I had to drive up and say goodbye to his body, it was part of the journey. Ironically, it was the fastest drive I had ever made from Orange to San Luis Obispo County!
As hard as it was to see his lifeless body, there was a peace and final closure that I am glad to have experienced. It appeared that he had died peacefully, no evidence of thrashing or pain. The vet thought it was probably a seizure from his advanced kidney disease. He is buried in a spot near where he died and I am forever grateful that I will have a place to “visit” him. A place to be reminded of all that he taught me. To take a deep breath, sometimes two or three. To be present with whatever is present. To trust that still, small voice which never lies and that, in hindsight, I suspect was Exellent’s whisper guiding me along our journey together.